Truth Bomb by OVD : The problems with modern Zombie movies and shows

 Hey Everyone.

 So tonight we delve into the Zombie Genre and what's wrong with the plots in a lot of modern zombie shows and movies. I'll list them for fun...

1) Everyone is a head shot all star. Against slow zombies I can see people getting better at head shots...but still no where as accurate as these shows. And fast zombies...not a chance. And rarely will you see them packing their own bullets in these shows either. Bullets will run out fast in any Ragnarok (apocalypse).

2) 10...15 years into Z Day the characters are wearing the latest hipster fashions...clean with no holes. By then, in any apocalypse they'd be wearing rags or animal skins...I mean come on. And if your not wearing some kind of armor by then...I'm surprised they made it that far. Which brings me to...

3) Finding dumb , defenseless, clueless, "New" Characters. Dumb people don't survive any catastrophe let alone Z Day. They would have to be smart and bad ass...and lucky. Yet every new character these shows or movies introduce...are clueless, bumbling, idiots. 

4) Gasoline. I'm sorry to inform you all but gasoline goes bad. It has about a 30 day life span. After that it won't be much good for running any machine. Unless you have a working refinery...gas run shit, will be worthless after Z Day +30. Deiseal does work however, so that will be good until it's gone. 

5) Not one of them is getting the proper ending right. At the end of EVERY classic zombie movie...everyone dies or becomes zombies. The only exception would be the novel "World War Z"(not the movie). And I'll get into that next.

So what would a proper Zombie movie or TV series look like. 

Well if I was making one...

  I'd make it a gathering of old Veterans buddies...the mix of gender, color or any of that doesn't matter...so check all the boxes if it makes you feel better. Veterans come in all the various "types" of people. Us Marines are all Green. Ooh-F*cking-Raa. Anyways the series(or movie) would start with them seeing Z Day one...the madness, confusion, adrenaline pumping fear. They make it out of "the city", fighting and hiding, sneaking around and they still lose 4 out of 13...so there are 9 left. As leave the city the trek around unpopulated area's...hunting and gathering...getting better at hand to hand as the zombies out here are fewer in number. But they still lose 2 more of their own...but pick up other smarter, stronger, luckier folks that also made it out here. Then as ammo grows scarcer and zombie hordes start leaving the cities...they decide to go old school, armor and shields, Spear and axe. Most importantly they learn formation fighting. Box formations that are shield walls armed with spears and axes as back up(or swords for the rich). The spears will keep the zombies back. Killing them at a distance. If your spear breaks...chippity chop. The next row is archers and 22 rifles. 22 rounds are easy to repack and good enough to take down a zombie...and accurate enough to get head shots. Then another shield walls worth of replacements, or an oh f*ck, level of protection. With another row of archers and guns...then in the middle is a group of APC's that run on diesel in case of...oh f*ck we need to bail.

   And the goal is to wipe out the zombies...instead of running and hiding...or trying to defend...those always fail. So you either need to stay mobile to survive or take out the zombies. Clear area's and build supply caches...but even though the living are starting to fight back and win...our brave hero's and new bad ass friends get into a fight with a massive zombie horde...and are over run and killed(or kill them selves). But it's a massive epic battle...the first shield wall holds for awhile but eventually goes down and the archers and gunners valiantly take out a wave...a few get to the next shield wall but the rest are quickly over run...the second shield wall is hit...and hard...they realize they aren't going to be able to hold and begin loading as many into APC's as possible. The last two of our originals and 1 new bad ass friend make it into the APC's they smash through the horde of zombies...but the horde is too big...some APC's get stuck in the zombie corpses. Others are over run and turned over...zombies tugging at the doors...only our last two hero's are left...they look at each other and load their pistols...the APC doors are ripped off and you see from the zombies perspective 2 Veterans shoot a couple of Zombies each and shoot them selves...the camera pans out...you see two more of these Armies of the living, Box formations, maneuvering in, about to attack...but as the camera pans out further you see the Zombie Horde is MILLIONS strong...

the end.

Leaving it open for sequels but showing humanity is pretty screwed.

I hope you enjoyed. this is what my mind does on edibles(Thanks Jay). Post what ya think in the comments.

-Otto Von Danger

SGT/USMC and Artist at Large

Semper Fidelis



Comments

  1. BobApril 12, 2022 at 6:56 PM

    I've never been interested in zombie movies, they always seem ridiculous. I never watched the Walking Dead but what little I know about the series is that they have makeshift weapons and don't have modern clothes, gas-operated engines, or other items which a post-Ragnarok society would not have. As for finding new characters, I have no idea how that works except that there are probably isolated conclaves of human survivors holding out against the zombies. But, yes, the stupid ones would not have lasted long.
    And if the zombies need regular humans to live off of, they'd have diminishing returns as humans became more scarce or band together in strongholds to fight them off. Also, the zombies can't be well organized or very bright. Humans should be able to prevail once they start getting their shit together.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Otto Von DangerApril 13, 2022 at 9:15 AM

      They still have cars, bullets and the latest brand new hipster fashions in Walking Dead...and too many dumb people to count...i think they may even out number the zombies ;)

      Delete
  2. BobApril 14, 2022 at 9:25 PM

    I thought I saw part of an episode where they were wearing older, kind of ragged clothes and were using swords, bows and arrows, and maybe a crossbow. But I could easily have been mistaken. I've never really been interested in zombie, post-apocalyptic movies, or TV shows. But the Walking Dead certainly seems to have been popular.
    I've gotten most of the way through the Viking TV series. It's interesting. I like that they use real historical figures.

    ReplyDelete

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